I cringe at Dad's affair
Dear Miriam, My parents have been divorced for six years. They split when my sister was four and I was 14.
Versace Watches Since then my father has had a string of girlfriends, all of them around his own age, 50. Now he's going out with a girl who is 22 and, as much as I love dad, I can't understand what she sees in him.
He's on the tubby side and losing his hair. There's no way I'd look at him twice if I were in her shoes. I think their relationship is gross.
It's a bit like him dating one of my friends from school and I feel ashamed of him. She's really immature and has a silly laugh which is very annoying. It makes me feel sick to think about them pawing each other.
My sister doesn't like her either and refuses to see Dad. Dad wants me to smooth things over and persuade my sister to be cool with it but I don't see why I should when I don't like it myself. I resent him for asking me to put pressure on her.
Do I confront him about this and tell him how I feel? Is it even my business? Josie
Dear Josie, This is very difficult emotional terrain but it's unhealthy for you, an adult, to expect that discomfort entitles you to control your dad's personal life. He shouldn't have to change his behaviour to suit the way you feel. Parents are people too and, although he may seem ancient in your eyes, it's OK for him to date anyone he wants. The sooner you stop holding him to unreasonable expectations, the sooner you'll find peace with him.
It might make perfect sense for you to feel let down and upset that he's acting a bit silly but people in love do go over the top.
Of course, it's one thing for your dad to have found someone he enjoys dating and another to insist you and your sister play a role in his fantasy of a new family. You're not obliged to like the woman he dates or enjoy spending time with her.
The best way to resolve your feelings is to talk about them with him. He's wrong to ask you to persuade your sister and she must be very confused right now. He should to talk to her personally and you should tell him so.
He may even marry this young woman and you'll have more adjusting to do. It doesn't have to be awful. If you can build a friendly relationship with her, that's a wise move.
She isn't going to be a mother to you or your sister. You have a mother. But she may very well become a member of your family.
You don't have to like it and you don't have to like her but, if you want a relationship with your dad, you'll have to be civil and it won't kill you.
It's probably not a good idea to ask him to choose between a daughter who wants him to act his age and the woman who makes him feel young.
Mum's in peril
Dear Miriam, I'm 11 and I hate my dad. He can't control his anger and gets violent with me and Mum. I'm really scared of him and stay in my bedroom to keep away from him but I still hear him shouting at Mum and pushing her around.
I wish I was older and bigger and Girard Perregaux Replica Watches I could protect her and my little brother. He has hurt me a few times but he turns on Mum the most.
I cry myself to sleep because I don't know what to do and Mum says we can't tell anyone in case Dad gets into
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